Thursday, March 12, 2009
I've been thinking about balloons today. I've been thinking a lot of things, some of them are below.
BALLOONS are, in the end, just TRASH :
Two people outside of a store, popping day-old balloons got me thinking about trash again. Why did you get the balloons if they were only going to last a day? Are you going to pick up the pieces? Does a sign flanked by balloons imply that there is something inside worth getting involved in? Are you going to pick up those pieces?
At some point in my childhood I was presented with the startling statistic that every time you pop a balloon, a bird dies. I'm not sure this is true, because I was presented with a lot of "facts" then that I have since found to be baloney (ex. people will love you for what's inside. In truth, they won't, cause your insides are creepy. Just plain creepy.)
But still, what about the birdies?
the LITTLE LOST BALLOON:
It was amazing how small a balloon got as it was floating away from (1) your outstretched fingers, and (2) the frantic jumping and clasping of your parents.
Why was the sight so much more beautiful when the balloon didn't belong to you?
the PERFECT BALLOON TIE:
I remember the day I used my horse-camp knot skills to tie the perfect balloon knot around my sister's wrist. It was a pivotal moment. No longer would I have to listen to the whining and pawing of her frantic efforts to get the string off (knot has slip to release quickly.) No longer would I have to listen to her cry over the little lost balloon (slip was total mystery to baby sister.)
Bwahaha. My career as an evil inventor had begun!
CELLOPHANE BALLOONS are SAD:
Inevitably, on our birthdays, my sister and I would chose a cellophane balloon adorned with our current favorite cartoon character. (Mine was typically Garfield. I loved a cat who loved him some lasagna.)
The main issue with cellophane balloons is that they wilted fast, and you might wake up the next day to find Garfield face down on the floor. (Overdose?)
Solution! Smack him into the air. The result is a satisfying crack, and a millisecond more of balloon enjoyment.
BALLOON LINKS -
Man Floats away from Bend.
I didn't copy Camp Smartypants, I swear.